hospitality

Here's a link to a short post I saw on the Girltalk blog (which I LOVE). It has a great view on hospitality, helping me to see that it is a responsibility for all believers. I believe that hospitality can be one of the primary ways to bring others to Christ, by inviting people into your home and showing them first-hand what it is to be a Christian. They can watch you with your kids and with your husband (hopefully, it's a good example you are setting - ha!) and wonder how they can get a home like yours. What they will see is not YOU, but the Spirit of God IN you, and it will be desirous. Hope this makes you think, like it did me, about a way you can be hospitable. Why not start with a neighbor with whom you don't feel that you have much in common besides both of you being mothers? You never know! =) I loved the section that emphasizes that we don't all have the same way of showing hospitality. It will be varied based on "God's varied grace." That takes a lot of the pressure away, knowing that MY way of showing hospitality doesn't have to look like the way others show it. It can be original to me.

Summertime 2009

I have been very lacking in my updating, so I thought I could make up for it in one post. We continue to travel just about every weekend, raising support for our future ministry in Romania. We are so blessed to have family living nearby and love to celebrate all the birthdays and other holidays with them. Here's just a few pictures showing how the summer is going and how the kids are growing...

We took about a week and dug up new flower beds and planted flowers here at the house where we live with Mom and Dad. It was a lot of work, but it looks SO pretty!

At the end of May we celebrated Kara's birthday....TWO YEARS OLD!! We had a party here in Bellefonte...

You can't see it too well, but I found this cute cake online (just jelly beans for the rainbow and white mini marshmallows for the clouds) =)

...and then one in Mechanicsburg a few days later (with Trav's family).

We found these hats in a missionary closet on our travels! Cute! =)

The Many Faces of Sweet Kara

Ladies Retreat and Jumping Beans

This past Friday and Saturday Trav and I had the opportunity to co-speak at a Ladies Retreat in Lancaster.  Calvary Baptist Church of Elkins Park, PA brought their ladies to a Christian camp in Lancaster.  Travis spoke on Friday evening, and then I spoke twice on Saturday.  We used Titus chapter 2, specifically verses 3 through 5 as our main theme.  We've never done anything like this before, and Travis joked that it was his first Ladies Retreat. =)   Leading up to the weekend, we both spent some pretty late nights preparing, so now we're WHIPPED, but it gave us some great experience to draw from in the future.  Travis gave a lot of background to the book of Titus, and then I (using A LOT from the book Feminine Appeal, by Carolyn Mahaney) filled in more practical thoughts and application to us as women.  I can see how the Lord is giving me opportunities like this that will help me when we reach Romania.  I'm sure these principles will be a HUGE help for the Romanian and Gypsy women.  I think we, as Americans, really take for granted the resources that we have at our fingertips for help in areas of Christian living.  We can pretty much just jump online and find any books we could possibly need, as well as encouraging Christian music and anything we want to help us along our way.  These women in other countries, especially places like Romania, have pretty much only the Word of God to help them.  I'm not trying to convey that the Bible is not enough, just simply how much easier it is for us here to receive encouragement along the way.  Anyways, though it may not interest you that much that I spoke at a Ladies Retreat, I've been wanting to use this blog for my own self too as a journal of my life and my family's life, so just consider this a little look into my blog/journal =)  

As an extra, here's a little video I took the other day of the kids.  Sam is teaching Kara how to jump.  So funny!  I think that jumping must just require a certain level of skill that Kara doesn't quite have yet.  My sweet kids: how I love them! =)

My Sweet Kids =)

Little Red Riding Hood

A few weeks ago, Trav's parents came to visit for the evening.  We had dinner and spent some really nice time together.  No pressures, just hanging out =)  Samuel has been practicing the story of Little Red Riding Hood, and he employed his Ninny and Pappop as actors.  Samuel T. Gravley (Little Red Riding Hood), Patricia A. Gravley (Wolf), and Raymond G. Gravley (Grandma) present....THE LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD!

The New Gravleys

For about the last 2 years, our family has been experiencing some very difficult times with our son, Sam.  Those of you who know us well have heard our whining, complaining, and crying.  We've mostly tried to contain it just within our family, but recently have been asking more and more people to pray with us concerning his behavior.  We have tried SO many different methods, focusing mostly on the biblical ones (I will not be too specific, knowing that really anyone can read something online).  Samuel has been disciplined more than any other kid I've ever known.  We had our parents, brothers and sisters praying for us and talking to us, giving their advice so sweetly whenever asked.  No one could quite figure out why Sam could be so sweet and then his attitude could turn on a dime.  It seemed the slightest provocation would send him into huge fits of anger and reduce us to anger and frustration in return.  We worked so hard to control our own selves so that our discipline was done in a godly way.  We have been so humiliated a multitude of times, especially since beginning deputation and being in a different home each weekend.  Everyone we have met has been SO gracious toward us, trying to encourage us in any way they can.  We've been begging the Lord for wisdom and trying to gain all the knowledge we can from other parents (old and young).  Mostly everyone who has talked with us just encourages us with the same advice..."Be consistent and win the battles; you'll be so glad you conquered it now instead of waiting until he's older."  While we appreciated this advice, it seems that no one could put a finger on what was causing the outbursts and what we were doing, as parents, to fuel this poor behavior.  We did have some angry times in disciplining him, but I just felt that our consistent pattern of punishing him was calm and calculated, not in great emotion.  I felt that as near as possible to 100% of disobedience and defiance was punished in love and firmness.  

As we drove to Cleveland this past week for Launch Seminar at our mission agency (Trav and I were by ourselves), I began to read this new book I received from a friend.  It is the preschool book from Gary Ezzo (the Babywise/Growing Kids God's Way guy).  We came across a chapter called "Addicted to Choice."  NEVER IN ALL MY DISCUSSIONS with people have I come across such revealing information about my Samuel.  It was AMAZING!!!  The chapter describes a boy named Jackson who makes his own choices all morning long (what color cup he'll use, where he'll sit, what he'll play with and when, etc.)  When his mom would suggest something like, "Come sit here, and I'll read to you," Jackson would choose to simply sit in a different place.  His mother, not wanting to cause a conflict over something so dumb as a place to sit or a cup to drink from, would just go along with Jackson's ideas.  When it came time for lunch, however, his mother required him to come to the table and quit playing.  Jackson was LIVID!  How dare his mother cross him after having his own way all morning.  Ezzo explains that children (about 4 years of age - like Sam) CANNOT differentiate between moral and non-moral choices (huge revelation to me!)  I had no idea that he saw choosing a cup color the same as coming to the table for lunch or going to bed for a nap!  We had so much trouble with Samuel at these times of non-negotiation (naptime, mealtime, going home from a friend's house time, etc.) that we decided to cause as little conflict in negotiable areas (cup color, seat at the table choice, etc.).  By doing this, we had created a little boy whose day was, on the whole, directed by himself, not his parents.  When it came time for us to exercise our authority over him, he would get angry when we didn't give in.  We were doing a great job not giving in at those times, but the rest of the day was Sam's to control.  I don't know if you can follow all of this reasoning, but it sure made perfect sense to us.  We feel that this is such an answer from the Lord, and we thank Him for showing us mercy and giving us wisdom to find the proper resources to help us.  

We have revamped our whole lives and created a schedule for Samuel and Kara for the days when we are home and not on the road.  The schedule includes things like roomtime, coloring time, puzzletime, reading together, Bible story time, etc.  Though the kids do have some free time during the day to play with whatever they choose, most of the day is planned out and directed by us, the parents.  We have had two very good days.  The fits are not gone, by any means, but we have been really encouraged to see that they are greatly lessened in intensity.  I have so much more to write, but I'll be finished for now.  I hope to write an update on this in the next few weeks.  I'm looking forward to reporting big improvements in Sam's behavior. Thank you to those who have prayed for us.  We are so thankful!